Mars vs Venus
by jovaine
Summary: Just remember, alpha males are hot, even if you find them annoying. But who is this mysterious love coach who claims that he wants to help young men everywhere to put the gears into the game of seduction through his blog?


Disclaimer: Bleach and all its characters belong to Kubo Tite.

Author's notes: Yes, pink-latte is back, but in the Bleach fandom this time. I'm trying out a different concept this time; we'll be incorporating blogs, articles, facebook and instant messaging in here. The proper story will start in the next chapter, and that will be where all the excitement is.

---

**Mysterious New Blogger In Town**

**Senna Mirokumaru, For You Magazine, May 2009.**

Who cares about who won the latest season of American Idol (It was Kris Allen, by the way), the never ending celebrity kiss and tell or even the fact that Ferrari are threatening to pull out of Formula 1? The talk of town is currently focused on the mysterious 'love coach', A, who solves love problems for the guys through his blog "Mars vs. Venus'. Although he also hosts a weekly radio program every Wednesday night from nine pm to ten pm, he has managed to remain completely anonymous. Daily hits to his website are soaring and the number of listeners of has increased dramatically every Wednesday night.

But who exactly is this A? Is his rising popularity justified? Isn't he too good to be true? It has always been a joke how men think about sex all the time, forgets important dates like birthdays and anniversaries, and never absorbs most of what his wife or girlfriend tells him. Smart, funny and full of drama, A has caught the world by storm. Therefore, the team at 'For You Magazine' have taken to the street and asked for opinions from the people on the street.

"He's a faker, that's what I think he is," grumbled a young man who only gave his name as Jinta. "He's just overhyped, a big promotional gimmick. Because of him, my girlfriend has forced me to listen to his radio program every Wednesday. We could be doing much more _meaningful_ things in that one hour".

Another of our interviewees who works at an auditing firm, Ririn, begged to differ. "He's wonderful. My boyfriend took his advice on how to propose properly. There were champagne, roses, a midnight walk on the beach and this ring. Beautiful, isn't it? I'm sure that boyfriend of mine wouldn't have thought about something like that if it wasn't for A. He probably would have proposed in the office or something," she gushed as she nearly took out this reporter's eye with the way she was waving her hand to show off her ring.

"Do you know what I think?" asked Ganju, a man we met in a supermarket. "I think that A is really a woman. Why else would she be claiming to be 'helping' men everywhere? Only a woman could come up with _advice_ like this. I smell a conspiracy".

Mashiro, however thinks A is all man. "He must be a hunk behind the computer screen. You know, tall, dark, handsome, well built, rich, highly educated and a total charmer. Every girl's dream guy. He should show himself in public. The fangirls would fall all over him. Just remember, alpha males are _hot_, even if you find them annoying," she winked.

Well, no matter whether A is a man, woman or both, we at 'For You Magazine' wish you the best of luck at what you are currently doing. If all goes well, maybe our country would turn into the next 'City Of Love' and us; women will not need to deal with the utter ignorance of men everywhere when it comes to relationships.

---

**Mars vs. Venus**- _For all your romantic needs_

**Blogger Profile**

**Photo**: None.

**Name**: A. That's all you need to know.

**Age**: Old enough to drink.

**Gender**: Male.

**Astrological sign**: Not telling.

**Zodiac year**: Not telling either.

**Industry**: Communications and media.

**Occupation**: What kind of question is this? I'm a blogger, of course.

**Location**: I don't need more stalkers, thanks.

**About me**: Ask me. Maybe I'll tell.

**User Stats**

**Blogger since**: April 2009

**Profile views**: 1856423 and counting

**Frequently Asked Questions**

**Can I tell you how much I appreciate your efforts at helping men everywhere?**

Yes, thank you very much for your support.

**Is 'A' really the initial of your name?**

Actually, 'A' stands for Affection. And Adoration. And Apple, for that matter.

**Are you single?**

Yes, I am. Unfortunately, I don't think I'm interested in you.

**Why did you create this blog?**

I want men to be able to play the game of seduction with perfection.

**Could you describe yourself?**

Didn't I describe myself in my profile page? Well, I love the color pink, shopping for shoes and baking. Chocolate chip cookies are my specialty. On weekends, I enjoy driving around town in my car. My favorite drink is a strawberry martini. Seriously.

**What makes you think you know everything about love?**

If you came to this site and asked me this question, that means you need help in the romance department too, right?

**You must have a lot of friends.**

I've got lots of invisible friends. Does that count?

**What are your hobbies? **

Giving sarcastic responses to questions people ask me. Apart from that I also like reading.

**Are you really gay?**

I'm hundred percent straight.

**Or maybe you're a woman?**

Look, if I'm a woman, I would be helping my fellow _sisters _everywhere, not my fellow _brothers_.

**Can't you at least give us a hint on how you look like?**

I have lime green hair. It goes very well with the pink shirts I like to wear.

**You are such a bitch. Haven't anyone told you that? **

Oh, really?

---

"Look at this, Matsumoto," Ukitake Jyuushiro muttered as he slid something across his desk to the woman sitting on the other side of it.

"For You Magazine?" said Matsumoto Rangiku with a trace of derision, picking up the glossy magazine and flipping through it casually. "All their articles are pure fluff and speculation, they don't have the standards I want in a magazine. Now, things like Elle, or Vogue, that's what I call quality. If you've started getting interested in women's magazines, I could always give you some from my collection".

"It looks like they have a major scoop this time though," Ukitake smiled. "Please turn to page eighteen".

It took a lot to please Ukitake Juushiro, head editor of Seiretei Times, the top daily newspaper in Japan. It had recently recorded a growth of twelve percent in circulation from the previous quarter and the top management was very eager for the newspaper to continue improving and the profits to keep flowing in. Matsumoto flipped to the page he specified, slightly curious now.

"Mysterious new blogger in town," she read out the bold red headline. The article was accompanied by a picture of a man in a formal ensemble, his face obscured by a huge question mark. Apart from that, the page was decorated with small pink hearts and cupids. When Ukitake didn't say anything else, she continued reading.

"What do you think?" Ukitake asked when she had finished the article.

"Well, it is obvious this Senna person is a big fan of A. I've visited his blog before, and believe me, there's nothing special there. He's just a typical blogger," Matsumoto replied.

"And yet, he continues to attract fans," Ukitake said thoughtfully. "I think this topic is worth a follow up".

Matsumoto looked horrified as the implications of his words dawned on her. "You want _me_ to write about him? B... But I'm a crime reporter".

"I know," Ukitake said. "But you have put in a lot of effort in the Sato murder case, and I thought I should let you handle something lighter this time. It will be fun too. Take is as an investigation of sorts".

"I don't think I would know what to write. This is out of my area of specialty," Matsumoto pleaded.

"See, you can take this as a chance to broaden your perspectives. Embrace a different style of writing. I'm sure you will do well," Ukitake smiled.

"With all due respect, Sir, I joined Seiretei Times because I wanted to be seen as a good reporter who brings all the breaking news to people's knowledge. I don't want them to judge me based on my looks and decide that I'm just a dumb blonde. Writing fluffy pieces like this would make things worse"

Ukitake frowned and looked over his subordinate's appearance. It was true that she was pretty, with light gray eyes, flowing blonde hair and a body (and breasts) most women would kill for. Today, she was dressed in a simple striped black shirt and matching skirt, with the top three buttons of the shirt undone, giving people a view of the chain she usually wore around her neck and a hint of cleavage.

"Someone called you a dumb blonde?" he said, sounding confused. "But you're not dumb. You won the award for 'Best Investigative Reporter' last year".

Matsumoto sighed. She knew Ukitake was a very decent man and kind employer. He himself had also won several journalism awards, as was evident by the certificates displayed on the left wall of his office. However, he was still male and it was at times like this that he displayed what women called the inability to read between the lines.

"It's the boobs, you know. And the hair. Sometimes, people find it hard to take me seriously," she tried explaining.

"Of course not. Then we'll just make them eat their words," Ukitake said with such conviction that it made her smile. But what he said next wiped it straight off her face. "Oh, look at the time. I have a meeting with the board of directors in five minutes. That's your story now, all right? Make sure to report your progress to me. I have complete faith in your abilities".

In the flurry of activity, Matsumoto found herself pushed out of the office and staring at the disappearing back of her boss, knowing that he had somehow or other coerced her to take up the story. She glared at the magazine in a huff, grabbed her handbag and left the office, intent on tracking down some friends for a night of drinking.

---

**Dear A, **

**Frankly, I can't believe that I'm doing this but to keep things simple, I've got a problem. I hold a rather high post in a famous multinational company. I've got a loving but crazy family, enough money in the bank, a great car and my own apartment. My love life however, is a bit more complicated. I think I like my co-worker. She is the same rank as I am in the company; unfortunately, she's also a close relative of the CEO. I'm afraid to make the first move as I think he (the CEO) would slice me into pieces if he finds out. Any advice?**

**From Hesitant Guy.**

---

**Dear Hesitant Guy,**

**Although all the other aspects in your life are going perfectly well, it sounds like you have a mild confidence problem in the love department. But don't worry, confidence issues are fairly common and is nothing we can't solve. First of all, just show how much you notice her as a woman. Women love compliments, so make sure to compliment her once in a while, but don't overdo it or it will sound fake and make it even more obvious that you're trying to get into her pants, err... I mean good books. Confidence starts from yourself. Look into your heart and you'll get the answer. You must remember, some men seem to be very lucky when they try to woo the woman of their dreams. However, luck has nothing to do with it. A little effort, More sincerity, care and concern will take you far.**

**Regards, A.**

---

"'Consumer elements are continuing to stress the fundamental necessity of a stabilization of the price structure at a lower level than exists at the present time'. Gosh, sometimes I just hate business reports. Is it so hard to just write 'Consumers keep saying that prices must go down and stay down'?"

"Mm... hmm".

"And look at this, 'substantial economies were effective when they increased the time interval between distribution of data eliciting forms to business entities'. Maybe I should ask nii-sama to say something about how to write proper reports".

"Yea".

""You're not listening to me at all, are you?"

"Hn".

"Oh look, a cute rabbit just appeared outside the window".

"OK... Ouch, what the hell was that for?" Kurosaki Ichigo shouted, touching his shoulder gingerly.

"You weren't listening to a single word I said. You didn't even seem surprised about the rabbit, considering that this is the fifteenth floor," Kuchiki Rukia replied, casually putting down the heavy folder she had used to hit her friend and colleague.

"Oh, sorry about that," Ichigo said, scratching the back of his head. "I have a lot of things on my mind today". No way was he going to admit that he was watching the flower pin in her hair, the cute expressions she made when she was complaining about the reports, and the mild scent of her perfume that flew in the air when she moved.

"In that case, we could always schedule our discussion for later," Rukia suggested. "It's lunch time already anyway. Besides, it's quite important that us in the marketing department talk to you finance people about the company's new venture".

"No!" Ichigo said before he could stop himself, causing Rukia to give him a weird look. "I mean, why don't we go for lunch together? I'm hungry and I'm sure some food will give us more energy to talk about things properly".

"Good idea. I was just thinking of grabbing a sandwich. Where do you want to go?" Rukia said as she slid out of her chair and started packing.

"How about that new café two blocks away? It good pretty good reviews in Sereitei Times".

"That sounds good. Let's go," Rukia smiled.

Ichigo grinned inwardly and followed Rukia towards the door, realizing to his chagrin that he could smell her perfume better when he was walking behind her. No better time for a compliment, in that case.

"I like your perfume," Ichigo said softly, wondering if she would hear him.

"Thanks, Ichigo. Nii-sama got it for me. He has good taste," Rukia said.

Ichigo winced at the mention of Kuchiki Byakuya, the cold authoritative CEO of the Kuchiki Group of companies, and his boss. But to Rukia, he just smiled and said "You're welcome".

---

Author's notes: Well, that was fun. Apart from Ichigo/Rukia and Matsumoto/someone, all other pairings are still open to consideration. So do tell me what you think. Thanks.


End file.
